Exercise 1 & 2

Exercise 1:

My next step is to begin becoming the social activist I want to become for the rest of my life and during my career as a professor. This brings me to actually acting on this desire, which to me means volunteering my time. This is exactly what I am doing at the moment. As I blogged about earlier I have started to communicate with someone I greatly admire as an activist who works with women in Uganda to bring about positive change and sustainability in their lives. The step of volunteering/interning with this organization has started to take place! This has all happened so quickly and just by emailing someone I admire as a role model I have started to gain experience and connections. This brings me to the next thing….

Exercise 2:

The resistance I have been working through has been the fact that I am a graduating senior and have too much on my plate to begin volunteering on top being anxious about graduating. For me it is also scary when things that you wanted to happen actually do begin to happen. I am not sure yet what this means, maybe I am scared of success or failure. It may be a little of both, but at times it seems that I am more cautious when I might fail. Because why invest time, efforts, your deepest self into an action when you might ended up failing big time. There have been times in my past where failing has let others down, my parents for example, and the thought that I might disappoint someone or that I can't live up to their expectations intimidates me from action. Also disappointing my self is a scary thing. Because then it feels like that doubt that you have about your self, the little voice, was right all along. Fear of failing can be very demobilizing for me. Support from other people, as Sher would say, helps take the pressure and anxiety off at times. It also helps when deep down your touchstone is motivating you to move on despite the little voice in your head that tells you that you can't do it. I am trying to move through this fear to find the joy of doing the things I love.