Assignment #14: Reflecting on Leadership for Change

Exercise #1: Read blog. Check.

Exercise #2: The sound bite.

Carrying out dreams are most certainly possible through knowing one’s self, motivation, support, and getting the sometimes fun and sometimes not so fun work done and with little and big steps before you know it you will have a deep sense of pride for your accomplishments. (I know a long sentence, but it is hard to synthesize all that I have learned in one sentence because there is so many important things learned).

Exercise #3: Personal reflection.

1. I have grown in many ways from this class. This has been a great investment for my life now and for the future. I don’t even know yet the full impact that this class has had on me because I think that much of it still hasn’t fully sunk in yet, but I think it is safe to say that this class has had an overall positive impact on every facet of my life. Overall this class has challenged me to think and be a better me.
2. This course has really changed much of my thinking about many things. My knowledge of myself, leadership, love, goals, possibilities, my future, others/groups, and many more things have been changed in a positive way from this class. I have learned a lot about myself that will help me in figuring out where I should be occupationally and what I need to work on in relation to myself and others. Through reading about leadership I have learned so much on what a healthy leader looks like which will be tremendously beneficial for me and other people in my life. I loved our Hooks book about love! I did not anticipate learning about love in this class, but it is so important to think about. I also loved Palmer’s book which has helped me think about the depths of my heart and soul. The possibilities have been introduced in this class and I feel like I can just go crazy with my options. Before this class I did hold myself back when thinking about what I should do, but with Sher’s help I have realized why not dream as big and as often as I can! The class has also shown me the importance of what it really means to work with others, not only well, but in a genuine, carrying and honest way. Finally this has led me to think about my future and that I really do have a world of possibilities out there just waiting to be occupied if I can work hard enough (with support, networks, etc.) to cultivate and cradle the dream.
3. Before this class I have realized the importance of thinking and planning out my dream, but I have learned different and more effective ways to go about it. The importance of networking and planning out feasible daily, weekly, etc. goals is something that before this class I did not realize the importance of. The behavior of putting myself ‘out there’ when it comes to networking is a new thing that this class has pushed me to do. Making strategic goals, rather than the some broad goals, is a new behavior that before this class I did not know how to do.
4. The three best things about this class have been; the books/readings, group activities, and the ability to do self-exploration.
5. The three things I liked least about this class; switching up bonded groups, grading rubric, and that half way through the semester there were significant course changes with assignments (this threw me off track.6. I would change the above mentioned; keep grading the same throughout the semester, and keep the same groups together.

Assignment #13: Work the Plan

1: First Steps
Find out if I can sell fair trade items at my church. After going through a few people I found the right individual that could answer. Initially I was not looking forward to this assignment because I did not know who to contact or how to go about this, but it actually turned out to be fun. I was able to get an answer relatively quickly and get to know a lot of people I had not known previously at my church, or rather networks that allow me to move closer to my goal.
2: Business Meeting
I was able to meet with my good friend the other day to talk about our plans, dreams and goals. It is amazing how reinforcing and supportive a buddy can be! I went over what we have been doing in the class, showing my friend the Wishcraft, my planning wall, etc. Similar to the prior week, it is great to meet with a buddy and talk about what we need to get to the next step. It is much easier to get past the tough times and problems. The buddy I met with has a similar goal, which makes it even better for our business meetings because the problems for both of us are similar. We still need to work on keeping a timer to keep on schedule, but we are doing better at managing time. At the meeting we went over our report in of the week, problems and solution in carrying out our steps and scheduling. This last week did not bring up any booster phone calls or intensive care, we both had a good week working towards our goals.
3: Sunday Meeting
I enjoyed having a set time for myself and my dreams. This time is really pivotal to not only continue my steps, but realize the importance of quality time towards the set up of my steps.
I followed Sher’s Sunday meeting schedule with looking back over the week at my steps, weekly calendar to refresh my memory about what I have or haven’t done. Then I updated my goal calendar, according to the results of my steps this last week. Such that I have found that I can sell fair-trade items at my church so that my goal calendar can go forward, rather than find a solution to the problem. I then did step three, list of first steps, where I was able to cross off some of the first steps already completed. Step four, problems, I do have one of those for my next step…which brings me to the hard times and brainstorming. I need to have some hard times for a little bit and brainstorm to get over this issue. I need to work on getting some fresh way of thinking about these problems. Step five, next weeks plan, was worked out with my budy at the business meeting. Finally I have my next steps in my small portable calendar, which helps remind me everyday I look at it. Again this meeting was helpful to reinforce my goals and my touchstone and help refocus my drive for the week.

Exercise 1 & Exercise 2 (April 14th)

Exercise 1: Finding two professors whose research interests me.

(This will help me select a graduate program and a professor to work under).

1. University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill - Dr. Sherryl Kleinman & Dr. Kathleen M Harris

2. University of Arizona - Dr. Kraig Beyerlein & Dr. Lane Kenworthy

3. University of Illinois at Urbana – Champaign – Dr. Heather Downs & Dr. Anna-Maria Marshall

4. University of Wisconsin Madison – Dr. Aimée R. Dechter & Katherine J. Curtis

5. Loyola University – Dr. Fred Kniss, Dr. Judith Wittner & Dr. Philip Nyden

6. University of Notre Dame – Dr. Christian Smith & Dr. Larissa Fast

It’s moving along….or that is how it feels anyway. This class has been good for me in several ways, but one of the ways I notice the most is the constant action which will take you further than you realize before you know it. These ‘next steps’ make me move toward my dream sometimes without me know just how quickly. It takes down that imaginary curtain between me and that dream that seems so far off and abstract. Sometimes I think that can be a resistance for me, where I will picture this dream that seems to far away or difficult to achieve, but in actuality is not. Taking these little steps makes the dream more real with every little step…until one day hopefully it will happen.

Exercise 2: Buddy System

I have chosen my two closest friends as my buddy system. The weekly business meeting went better than I could expect. It is amazing when you have another person who acts as a back-up and helps reinforce progress towards your goals and dreams. I have noticed that when someone (my buddies) expects to hear back about my actions during the week it helps me to work even harder on making the next step happen. Having a good friend as a buddy also makes the ‘next steps’ more of an adventure and exciting rather than during hard times a chore. The emotional support with my best friends is an added bonus because although I cannot always complain to my teachers, I can complain and vent with my friends who then support me. The buddy system is also a very practical, for example you can use that person as a network that can help you get in contact with someone, help with resources, etc. I have taken Sher’s suggestion about being on time seriously because it is important to show that I take this seriously and show that this meeting is important to me (both my own goals and their goals). We were able to do the 5 minute report in and the problem and solving time easily. This was nice to summarize the week and hear from yourself how the steps are doing, also to see how fast the other person is going. After we reported in, discussed problems and solutions we quickly did the 5 minute scheduling. I need to work on making/keeping a schedule and time limit with a timer because with a good friend it is hard to stay on task and not talk about other topics. I have noticed that after the meetings we have short booster phone calls that do help assist us during the week. This has been one of the best things I have done for the progression of my goals.

Optional: Interview with a professor/activist.

I called a professor that Prof. Rock had suggested I speak to because this professor’s interests are similar to mine. Although it took awhile to get us both together for an interview, it finally happened! She is great! I learned so much more than I realized! Looking back at the interview that happened just a few hours ago I learned not just about being an activist and a professor, but about being a living and thriving human being.
The top 5 tips she gave me about looking back at her life:
1. Let yourself go and get involved with what you are interested in, rather than what is a direct path and will just provide a job.
2. Find out if you are good at that thing you are passionate about.
3. Investigate on what it takes to succeed, or rather have a plan. (Sher would say ‘amen’).
4. Work hard!
5. Lastly, recognize that the path is ups and downs, not a straight easy line to success. There will be ups and downs, but don’t focus on that. Focus on whether there is a positive trend towards success or your goal, rather than an occasional down.
This was a great interview and I took away so much great advice!

Exercise 1 & 2

Exercise 1:

My next step is to begin becoming the social activist I want to become for the rest of my life and during my career as a professor. This brings me to actually acting on this desire, which to me means volunteering my time. This is exactly what I am doing at the moment. As I blogged about earlier I have started to communicate with someone I greatly admire as an activist who works with women in Uganda to bring about positive change and sustainability in their lives. The step of volunteering/interning with this organization has started to take place! This has all happened so quickly and just by emailing someone I admire as a role model I have started to gain experience and connections. This brings me to the next thing….

Exercise 2:

The resistance I have been working through has been the fact that I am a graduating senior and have too much on my plate to begin volunteering on top being anxious about graduating. For me it is also scary when things that you wanted to happen actually do begin to happen. I am not sure yet what this means, maybe I am scared of success or failure. It may be a little of both, but at times it seems that I am more cautious when I might fail. Because why invest time, efforts, your deepest self into an action when you might ended up failing big time. There have been times in my past where failing has let others down, my parents for example, and the thought that I might disappoint someone or that I can't live up to their expectations intimidates me from action. Also disappointing my self is a scary thing. Because then it feels like that doubt that you have about your self, the little voice, was right all along. Fear of failing can be very demobilizing for me. Support from other people, as Sher would say, helps take the pressure and anxiety off at times. It also helps when deep down your touchstone is motivating you to move on despite the little voice in your head that tells you that you can't do it. I am trying to move through this fear to find the joy of doing the things I love.

Next Step (#2) / First Step for New Goal

Although my main goal has changed, I still want to be an activist and this step will help me achieve that. My next step was to begin setting up an internship/volunteering with someone from one of my interviews. Through a few emails we have set up opportunities for me to volunteer with the organization. There are many different avenues that I can volunteer with this organization, but I will start by selling fair trade necklaces on campus, with friends and through other routes. I was not prepared for the speed with which things would start happening after my interviews with role models. I am very excited to be a part of something I love, fair trade. I am also excited about the opportunities this will bring me and the contacts too!

I also need to start the first step to my new goal, which will be finding 5 graduate programs that I am interested in applying for.
1. University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
2. University of Arizona
3. University of Illinois At Urbana - Champaign
4. University of Wisconsin Madison
5. Loyola University

3 Interviews / New Flow Chart / New Problems

Final Three Interviews

These interviews turned out to be very valuable both in jump-starting my dreams and building bridges from my dreams to reality.

This was a bit difficult, yet convenient because I have changed my goal to be a professor/activist. So although it’s inconvenient to restart my flow chart, problems, etc. it’s convenient in the sense that, as a student, I am surrounded by professors. Because I am Sociology major and a qualitative researcher it is ingrained in me to change the names of my interviewees.

I decided to interview 2 graduate students at UIC, both from the Sociology department.
1.The first I will call Anna. I asked her about her journey and how plausible it is to be both an academic and an activist. She described to me the way she came to be at UIC, its difficulties and triumphs. The most valuable thing I took from this conversation is that she described to me that some universities are activist friendly, while others do not want professors to be activist. She told me that I should look into each university and the professors there and that will help me find a program where I can grow as a student/academic and grow as an activist. I found this very interesting and valuable because I did not know that such favoritism existed in universities. This interview will definitely help me with finding grad programs as well as motivation to get to grad school.
2. The second grad student lets call her Brittany, mostly spoke about how-tos of getting into grad school. This was extremely helpful because as someone from a large family to be the first to get a Bachelor’s degree and the first possible graduate school candidate it seems like an unfamiliar life path. She described to me the do’s and don’t’s of applications, searching for the right grad program and most salient to me contacting those in the grad program to speak with. I found this amazing because although we are doing these exercises it still seems like some people are so far away. But she suggested that I contact professors that I would like to work with because this will help me better connect, understand and possibly get me through the door. Another important tip that I learned from this interview is funding for grad programs. I did not know prior to this interview that I could get so much funding and that I shouldn’t pay for the program, but that they can pay me! This is huge because on of my problems was financial constraints! I learned a lot from this TA and realized how much other people can be such a source of information! She spoke more about her story and the more I heard both her story and my other interviewee’s story the more I realized the possibility that I too can get into grad school.
3. Lastly I spoke with a Professor who very respected academically and also is very active in social issues that are important to her. I asked her about her story, how she got to graduate school, why she chose Sociology, how she juggles academia and social activism. Although she did not have much time to talk as she had wisdom to share, I did get a lot out of this interview. She actually was a completely different major before Sociology and went right into school. But when I told her that I was taking a break from school for at least a year she said that this was a good plan because she had gotten so burned out from going straight to school. She was great in giving me a lot of helpful tips and telling me about great Sociology grad programs and what I could do during my break between my undergrad and grad school. I left feeling like I could do just about anything and had won a million dollars worth of advice, which is so valuable. I also left feeling that I had a contact with someone who could set me up with people from other grad schools. The interview helped motivate me and open doors and possibilities.

New Flow Chart
Research grad programs that interest me-Find my top ten grad programs-Study for the GRE-Pay and schedule time to take GRE-Pass the GRE-Get three letters of recommendation- Write a great personal statement- Contact people in grad program I’d like to study under-Apply to funded grad programs- Contact financial aid at grad programs-Get accepted into a grad program-Make sure financial aid is available for me-
GOAL: Get Into Fully Funded Ph.D. Program

Problems
-GRE (bad at standardized tests)
-Money
-Finding the right program
-Lengthy applications
-Know-how

Three Interviews....and another on the way!

So I got the interviews. This week I finished three and I have another this Thursday! I learned a lot from the interviews, some things I wanted to learn and other things I did not expect. I realized that my goal is not what I exactly wanted, which is frustrating yet good. I had the goal of starting a nonprofit about fair trade, but realized that I want to be both a professor and an activist.

(All of my interview participants have fake names or are anonymous to protect their identity).

Interview # 1: Nancy from Project Fair.
I have interviewed Nancy via email because she is in another country doing what I would love to do, international fair trade. I actually got her name through a friend of a friend at a dinner party! He was talking about his work and I brought up my dreams and he actually knew someone who did just what I wanted to! So after a few emails we have connected about what she needs and how I would like to get involved. Although I wish we could have spoken in person, it is still amazing to speak to someone who is doing something so similar to something I would like to become involved in. Her business sells crafts that are made from women in impoverished communities and then the profits go directly to the women who made the goods. It is interesting that I wanted to interview her and she needed help to sell the crafts ended up in each one of us helping each other. We are setting up a volunteer opportunity for me, which is great because one of my problems is lack of experience. She is such a resource of knowledge and I feel very privileged to have gotten a hold of her. She is my first step, where I am trying to set up an internship/volunteer opportunity to gain experience and network in this realm. I am really excited to see where this contact can bring me, already just emailing back and forth has really motivated and inspired me.

Interview # 2: Anonymous professor at UIC.
This was by far the most stimulating conversation I have had in such a long time. At first I did not think that this person has much to do with what I wanted to do, but then that changed very quickly. To even have time with this person made me feel important and special. This professor is both an activist and an academic, which at first I did not know existed. The more I learned from this professor the more I realized that this is what I wanted to be! She spent time just talking about her experience and I was clinging to every word. During and after the interview I knew that this is what I wanted to do because I was so charged with energy that I could barely sleep and woke up early bursting with energy. Although it startled me a little to know that my goal had changed, it also felt like this new goal was right. We spoke of my goals, experience and expectations in life, which made me feel important. The best thing that came out of this interview was the opportunity to work with this professor on research that has both an activist and an academic approach. I left with an opportunity to extend this relationship with a professor as well as the opportunity to being this goal that before the conversation I did not know existed!

Interview # 3: Joe from Mission Art.
My last interview was done with a person who started a nonprofit and had much wisdom on the topic. After interviewing this individual I realized that I did need to change my goal as I had thought I needed to. I realized that I wanted to be a part of nonprofits, social movements, social change, etc. yet the way in which I carried out that participation was different than I had expected. I asked this person about the qualities that an individual needs to start a nonprofit and realized with his experience that I was not the right fit and this goal was not mine. Although I was thinking about changing my goal, this interview was the final straw that made me realize that the goal I had chosen was not really what I wanted. This does suck because I have put a lot of work into this goal already, but as Palmer would say we learn as much from what we are not good at than we learn from what we are good at. This person did set my up with at least 6 more people to interview and possibly job openings to help me in finding what I really wanted to do. It is amazing the amount of wisdom someone else will freely poor into another, as well as the contacts and help.

My planning wall:
This is now more difficult because I just changed my goal, target, role models, etc. so I will post this when it is finished. I have to make up quite a lot of missed time because I have completely changed my main goal along with my plans. The last interview mentioned (interview # 3) happened tonight and was the final influence that made me change my goal. I am glad I switched my goal because I think it is more along the lines of my touchstone, personality and gifts. This brings me back to brain storming and creating a new flow chart...success team get ready!

Interviews…uuummm… / Optional activity

Unfortunately I still have not gotten any interviews, but I am setting up two. One person I knew before this class and another is through the help of my supportive and awesome success team. Some of the people I really wanted to interview I have been stalking and still no reply. Like one person who I would LOVE to interview…I found her on facebook, sent her a message, tried to add her as a friend, but she must have thought I was a crazy person. I also think that this assignment is particularly hard for me and for personalities like me who do not like to step on toes. What I mean is that I am not a pushy person, so when I send an email to a person it is hard for me to call the next day and not feel like I am being too pushy or needy. This is not an excuse, but it is really my personality. I feel like I am bothering someone if I push too hard for an interview. But I guess I need to get over that.
I did get an email back from someone who started a nonprofit, although the mission is different than mine, I am really excited due to her experience and willingness to help me. She sent me an email with great information! She sent me a link about funding a nonprofit, information on a conference about federal funding coming up, and a nonprofit start-up guide! Its amazing how one person can be such a resource and be willing to share it freely! It does make me feel better about this assignment. I was beginning to get a little pessimistic about the assignment because I was having so much trouble, but this one positive experience has made me more willing to keep going.

If anyone reading this knows of someone who has started a nonprofit or works with an organization that does fair trade I would greatly appreciate their information. Thank you.

Optional Activity:

This optional activity was actually unexpected. One of the activities that I loved as a child is spending quality time with my older sister Jessica. I would love to spend time with my sister, just the two of us, and talk and talk and talk…. I still appreciate that kind of time with people. This is the best way I feel I get to know people, spending one-on-one time just talking and talking and talking. I did this when I spent the night at a friend’s place. It was unexpected, but it always brings me back to when I was a little kid and could completely confide and connect with a safe and loving person. We actually ended up talking until 4:00 am! This activity is hard to classify, but this was one of the things I did as a child that I loved and I still cherish the memories. I think I could also be a counselor if the nonprofit creation does not work or maybe I could combine the two. Because when I was a child similar to the time I spent with my friend talking, I enjoy talking to people about what is going on in their lives, struggles, success, etc. for hours. The time I spent with my older and wiser sister as a child allowed me to appreciate the quality time spent in the presence of another’s conversation.

Frustrated.....

I have been getting a bit frustrated because I want to have a role model that is a woman! My dream is to start an international nonprofit that works with women internationally on projects such as fair trade and/or microfinance and for me I want to look up to someone who is more similar to me...a person I can relate to and that is a female role model. Not that a male role model would be bad, but I just connect and feel more comfortable confiding my largest hopes and dreams to a female role model. Because my dream is starting or being the owner of a large nonprofit, historically many of those positions (such as CEO) are filled with men, where are the women??!!?? Sorry for the outbreak, but I guess I was a bit heartbroken because although I know female CEO do exist, I am having a hard time finding some to connect to. And I guess it also makes my dream and the possibility of that dream feel farther when there a few women that have achieved it. This was just a random thought I had to get out. Has anyone else experienced similar frustrations? On a positive note I guess I should see this as a barrier to overcome, not a barrier to be defeated by. End random outburst.

Assignment #7

Unfortunately I was not able to interview any role models yet, but I will post interviews as soon as I can.

I did do the optional assignment, one of the activities I love from the in-class activity on week 2.

I was able to sing in front of a medium-large group of people when I went out to a karaoke bar with friends. I actually had not planned the event, but it was a rather random occasion. I had planned to go do homework when a friend asked if I wanted to go to a karaoke bar. Even though the night was bad for the progress of my homework, it was good for my heart. I love singing in front of others in a relaxed and open atmosphere. It is good for me to sing in front of others because it helps boost my self-confidence and helps me get over being nervous. I got many compliments on my voice, which always feels good. And the night helped me realize that while I often neglect music/singing during the stresses of school it is still a part of me and something I love to do. The night also led to more singing as I realized I might want to sing at open mics.

List of songs I sang by myself:
Hit Me With your Best Shot –Pat Benatar
Your Song-Elton John
I Don’t Know Why-Norah Jones
Criminal-Fiona Apple

Flow Chart

1. → research nonprofits → write nonprofits → create connections at nonprofits→ volunteer/intern → create internship if none available → gain enough experience for a fulltime position → work my way up the position ladder →

2. → brainstorm about social problem → research other nonprofits working with problem → write to those organizations → gain contacts → create plan, vision, goals, objective for nonprofit → learn how to fundraise/write grants → fundraise money → write to famous people for support → write government for funding → write other organizations for funding → create team as nonprofit grows →


Goal/Target: Work for/create an International nonprofit working for social justice

(This was actually rather hard for me to think unconventionally about getting things done. I would greatly appreciate any comments, suggests, tips, etc.).

Today I played a bit of music. As a child I used to love to sing. I would sing everywhere and anytime and about anything (I used to sing about my cat). When I entered high school I loved to play my guitar. When we wrote about the activities we loved to do in the three different stages of our lives I wrote about music/singing and how free it made/makes me feel. My boyfriend and I played music together tonight, I was on the guitar and vocals and he played the banjo. I enjoyed it, but because of not growing up in the right environment I often get shy playing in front of others, even my boyfriend. So although this was fun and relaxing it was also a bit nerve wrecking because I get so vulnerable singing, playing guitar or writing music in front of others. Besides that I was able to come up with a little song that shows this class' influence on my thoughts. No biggy, this is just a little something I wrote in a moment of openness to my heart.



”I want to know” by Becky-Boo

Guitar chords Verse: Em, A, D, G / Chorus: D, G

Verse 1: I want to know what the world’s offerin’ me
What I’ll do, who I’ll meet, where I’ll be
What are the boundaries and what can I achieve
Are there answers or is it only within me

Chorus: ‘cause I want to know what this world is all about
And I want to know the answers to my doubts
I want to know
Do I want to know?

Verse 2: I want to know if your heart is pure
And what’s it gonna cost to find pure love
Once we’ve got it how do we endure
Do we put up with each other or put on a mask

Chorus: ‘cause I want to know what this world is all about
And I want to know the answers to my doubts
I want to know
Do I want to know?

Verse 3: I want to know what I’m bringing to this world
I need to thrive, not waste this precious time
I’ve been blessed, so I can’t miss this life
Action is the answer to this quest called life

Chorus: ‘cause I want to know what this world is all about
And I want to know the answers to my doubts
I want to know
Do I want to know?

Becky-Boo's Personality Type:

Your Type is
ENFP
Extraverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving
Strength of the preferences %
11 75 75 67
You are:
• slightly expressed extravert
• distinctively expressed intuitive personality
• distinctively expressed feeling personality
• distinctively expressed perceiving personality
Enthusiastic, idealistic, and creative. Able to do almost anything that interests them. Great people skills. Need to live life in accordance with their inner values. Excited by new ideas, but bored with details. Open-minded and flexible, with a broad range of interests and abilities.

The Inspirer
As an ENFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.
ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.
ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.
An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.
Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.
Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.
An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want. Most ENFPs will not abuse their abilities, because that would not jive with their value systems.
ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.
ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.
Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.
ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.
Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.
ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.
My insights:
Firstly, I was surprised that I was an extrovert! Because although we have learned that not all extraverts are outgoing and introverts are shy, I have always believed that myth and because I am a bit reserved in social settings I did not see myself as an extrovert. Secondly, I was amazed how the description really did fit my personality! It is so true that I often do not care to focus on details, but rather the big picture. Also, I do not like to be labeled or categorized, which is amazing that was in my profile! I loved that the analysis mentioned my focus on values and how it is the center I base so much of my life. This is so true, I am very concerned about social justice, this shows in my Sociology degree. Also my love for fair trade products, which I buy whenever I can. I also found the statement 'They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas' so true about me. For example in my ideal day I wrote about a flexible day working with a group of loving people that have the time to speak openly about ideas. I had a loved one read this profile and they agreed that this profle fit my personality quite well. I really enjoyed doing this personality test. It has given me even more clarity on what I should do in my life and the dreams and goals I should keep with!

Wishcraft exercise:

Dream: Start a non-profit
Touchstone: Help people in need
Role Model: Edna Ruth Byler (founder of Ten Thousand Villages)
Target: Create positive social change

5 lives:

1. Non-profit owner/manager

2. Professor

3. Social Worker

4. Singer

5. Professional Traveler

Insights: I really appreciated what Barbara Sher had to say about ‘living in imagination’ so that one can differentiate between dreams or passing fantasies. This is something that I struggle with, as I have learned in my life and by reading my personality profile. I need help determining whether something is a dream or a passing fantasy because I sometimes go from dream to dream without committing. So although I feel that helping people in need and bringing about positive social change are part of my original genius, I need a bit of help finding my real dream (which at the moment is starting a non-profit). I have a few other dreams, such as becoming a professor, a social worker, a well-respected singer/musician, and somehow traveling through it all. But I really appreciate Sher’s take on not just choosing one dream, but alternating while I’m a professor with travel or doing all at once (being in a band while owing a non-profit) or concentrating on one and then moving to the next. I definitely feel that this is not set in stone, but rather a working progress that I need to continue crafting, living in imagination and setting targets.

Understanding Me

Pick a color:
(When I wrote about my color this is what came out onto the piece of paper). I am green, rich with thought and wisdom. I, green, love to stand out, yet be subtle all in one. I love to soak up stories, places, from a far and up close. I love to surprise with my sometimes multi-interpreted shades. I seek to stand still and see everything there is to see. I, green, see through an outer shell because I stick around and I am constant with other colors. I am warm, embracing, gentle, strong, and bottomless with possibilities.

The Private-Eye Game:
As I looked around my room I saw a person that is; eclectic, colorful, cluttered, unorganized, lover of plants, reader, moderately sociable, interested in people/society, practical, family orientated, friend orientated, eats sweets and veggies/fruits, hoards, has themes, animal lover, minimalist, simple, unique, outdoors and indoors person, likes handmade things, musical, artistic, enjoys tranquility, modern yet natural.

Seeing Yourself as Others See You:
For my pretend family I chose a past teacher, Mr. Clifford, my best friend, Anna, and two fictional characters, Beth from Little Women and Vianne from Chocolat.
My past teacher may see me walking into a room and as my family member see someone who is; loving, interested, interesting, hardworking, challenging, passionate, open, there, wise, resourceful, willing, unique and genuine.
My friend turned family member sees; strong, clear-visioned, honest, willing, fee, loving, goal-orientated, supportive person.
My family member Beth would see a ; caring, interested, self-less, open, honest, clear, giving, available, loving person.
My last family member, Vienna, would see me as; strong, individualistic, passionate, helpful, healthy, goal-driven, independent, beautiful, trusting, and unafraid.

Twenty Things you like to do:

1. Be on a hill/mountain 2. Eat good food 3. Play/sing music 4. Be around animals
5. Think about life 6. Read a good book 7. Talk with mother 8. Talk to close friends
9. Spend quality time with boyfriend 10. Bike in the fall 11. Camp 12. Watch a though provoking film 13. Listen to poetic music 14. Listen to others’ wisdom 15. See a new place 16. Be outside on a warm night 17. Dance 18. Do something special for people I love 19. Surprise others with gifts 20. Change my hairstyle

Your Ideal Environment:
My ideal environment is; living on top of a mountain in a small, intimate house and wake to the sunrise over the mountains every morning. I would have my own room, but share the house with people I love and who are supportive, caring, fun and adventurous people. We would always have deep, spiritual conversations and every day we would challenge each other. Some days would be resting days and we would just eat, sing, and enjoy the time together. Other days we would talk, plan, and get ready for the following days of work. Then we would act on our plans together collaboratively, through this work we would be supportive and helpful. After the working days we would have a time of talking about what we did and cheer each other on for the things we did well and compliment each others uniqueness. The group would work on positive things, such as, helping the environment, animals and/or people in need of assistance. During all of this we would respect each other and share all our resources. There would be individual time and group time. There would be no deadlines, not timelines, no pressure, no right or wrong, but rather we would all be right in our unique ways of doing things.
In this ideal environment I see myself being creative, supportive, loving, free, giving, silly, goal-driven, and open hearted/minded.

Your Ideal Day:
In my ideal day I wake up only when the sun rises, next to my sleeping husband, who would sleep in. I go downstairs for breakfast, fresh fruit already prepared, and then eat it on my porch which overlooks the mountains and ocean. I watch the birds, animals and bugs get ready for the day, during this time I think about my day, my life and whatever else I want to ponder. I sit in a rocking chair; the air is warm and windy. I then go for a quick swim in the warm ocean water, then go back to my small, colorful and unique home to shower. My husband and I go hiking in the mountains, and then stop at a beautiful waterfall to have lunch. We eat vegetables, cheese, bread and red wine. We then go our separate ways for work. At work my colleagues are my best friends, it is a loving atmosphere. We begin our day later, we work at a non-profit (helping people in need) whatever the day calls for us to do, each day is different, but I always get to work closely with my team and the people we are servicing. We work until sunset, which is about 9:00pm there and then we go to a nearby home to have dinner together and talk about our day at work. We eat spicy food, red wine and rich dessert at the end. We talk deep into the night about all sort of things, funny, serious, practical, etc. I then leave either on a bike or walk to my home 15 minutes down the road, feeling safe and accomplished and loved. I meet my husband who is still up working on his computer and then we go to bed.

Fantasy Analysis:
This analysis was very hard, because my ideal day seems to perfect to make any deductions.
Indispensable: What: Satisfying job Where: Intimate, unique home Who: Loving friends, supportive co-workers, supportive husband
Optional: What: Home on the mountains with a balcony Where: By ocean and mountains Who: n/a
Frills: What: Swimming and hiking before work Where: Living somewhere warm and completely safe Who: n/a
When I think about a day with some of the elements deducted it is definitely less of an ideal day, but can still be classified as a good day. There is less of a feeling of fulfillment and joy, yet I am sure there can still be a feeling of accomplishment and love.
Right now I do feel that I have a loving man in my life, loving and supportive friends and a sense of accomplishment.
Presently I am lacking mountains, ocean, hiking and swimming, a relaxing morning, daily time to rewind with friends over dinner and a satisfying job.
Some of the problems that stand between me and my ideal day are; money, experience, training, skills, contacts, location, not married, lack the ideal job, do not always eat healthy, lack confidence, and lack guts to dive into dreams.

What Do You Love Becky-Boo?

The following questions were answered by my primary caregiver, my mother, Pam.
She explained that this was particularly hard because I am the youngest of 5 children.

1. What was I like in the first 5 years of my life?

I was a happy, content, non-demanding, easy to get along with, fun child.

2. What things did I love and what did you thin was unique about me?

I loved to sing, dance, play with my siblings, be with other people, play outside, act as a peace-keeper in groups, play with animals (real or toys), be imaginative, talk about animals from Africa and play with toy animals from Africa.

3. What did you think I would become when I grew up?

Care for animals, be a singer, or be a teacher.

Five friends speak on the topic of my strengths.

1. What do you think are my greatest gifts/strengths?

This was an amazing assignment, I did not know what my friends would write, but I was blown away by the loving words that my friends described me as. I felt and feel so loved as I reread the words that my friends describe me as. I am blown away by the generosity of positive words from my loving friends; I love each one of them so much (even before they described me this way, ha)!

My BFF Anna:
Alright your gifts and talents.

I think you are very gifted in relationships in general. You have a gentle spirit which breeds compassion. You are an excellent listener. And I would argue that your passion is a gift as well. You're passion is unique and consistently followed up by research and knowledge and most importantly ACTION. You think for yourself and you're willing to research and learn when necessary to grow your mind. You have an open mind to see all possibilities. I think your gifted in, or have a strength in, the positive ways you see the world.

You are talented musically. I've never met another lady with a voice like yours. It began as a talent and you've mastered it well with intentional investment and work. I think you're also talented artistically which comes out in many different forms instead of an organized medium. I think you're also talented as an encourager if that makes sense. You seem to have an ability to see where people need positive encouragement and naturally know the perfect things to say to boost that part of them. It is an incredibly important talent that you use very well. I believe that you make people feel better about being simply themselves just by them being in your presence.

My boyfriend Jim:
strong (stand up for yourself)
caring
giving
compassionate
loving

My kindred spirit Sue:
hmmm..your greatest gifts..actually you have many..and not one specific thing...you have the ability to break the ice with people..and not a lot of people are skilled in that...you can open up anyone! but even moreso, u look far into the future...you disregard a person's outer shell...and are far more interested in our thoughts of the present and future..with that, you connect to that person with your own personal thoughts, as well...it's as if finding the right shoe and fitting it perfectly...

let's see what else...

you are one of a kind, becky..from being a musician to putting your outfits together, to making everyone laugh...you have that charismic attitude, and people are magnetically drawn to you!

even with your mature ways of thinking, you also have that inner child within you that makes you so contagious! life is not meant to always be serious..but to live life to it's fullest! and that includes having chair races at work! (hahahah!)

the other thing that i admire about you is..your love for people..you would like to extend your hand to everyone in need..just like mother teresa! in a way, you both share the same beliefs and would like to help humanity in some kind of way, shape, or form!

Becky, you are amazing! i can say i have many friends and acquaintances but you stick out, seriously! you're always positive about life, even when life hands you lemons! you're always accepting to those you love and patient! I consider you as a blessing in my life..and i am truly grateful to know someone like you! you inspire me in such a way to reach my goals..and to know that you'll always be there, even if we may not see each other as often!

My longtime and loyal friend Bryce:
Your greatest gifts are your compassion, openness and positive aura. when a helping hand is needed, you stand up and offer it. when things change, you adapt. you've got a good soul, a creative mind and mass smarts. in short, i know you're capable of doing great things and even if you don't think of yourself as a leader, you have the skills to work with people to make this world a better place.

My silly and loving friend Julie:
your greatest talents and gifts (in my opinion and in no specific order)...
1. giving
2. nurturing
3. honest *
4. creative
5. insightful
6. motivated
7. good listener
8. sense of humor
9. gets along with others very well
10. open minded
11. can see different perspectives/angels of people and situations
12. supportive*
13. positive *
14. natural/authentic/genuine (whatever word you like best)
15. personable (easy to talk to)
16. innovative (has ideas she wants to implement and is willing to try)
17. idealistic

Childhood activity-catching fireflies:

One of the activities that I remembered loving during my childhood years is catching fireflies. By going to a museum, as we are in winter and there are no fireflies, I was able to have that childlike feeling of being immersed in nature. I went to the Lincoln Park Zoo (a great zoo that is free) and watched the animals and bugs with my boyfriend. My boyfriend joked that I should live at the zoo or at least work there because I love the animals so much. I had, not the same, but similar feeling to catching fireflies while at the zoo. I was able to watch the unique beauty of the animals, as I did with the fireflies. I did have a feeling of lightness, of joy as I was at the zoo. I loved just looking at the big paws of the lions, the tails of the primates, the ants carrying the huge pieces of food, the seals swiftness and grace in the waters, similar to the bright-steady light on the fireflies. It was fun just to enjoy natures beauty, it made me want to dream about the beauty in the world, the uniqueness of everyone (and everything) and the endless possibilities in our world. I’m so glad I did something to please my heart, rather than just check off things on my to-do list. It was quite freeing to indulge in something you love.

Who Do You Think You Are, Becky?

1. Why are you taking Leadership for Change?

I am a point in my life where I am challenging what I am doing (major, future plans, etc.) and what I want to do. I was looking for a class and a fellow classmate (Tiffany Jimenez) told me about a class she was taking this semester, leadership for change. After discussing how amazing this class sounded, I decided this class was perfect for me. I am a Sociology major, so I love the for change part of the course description and I want to better develop myself as a leader (in whatever way that may be). I also was interested in taking a class that not only helped me to develop intellectually, but also individually, spiritually, introspectively, etc.

2. What do you hope to get out of this course?

I hope to develop leadership skills from within myself, not other people’s leadership skills, but my own. I hope to look at my life in a challenging way, such as are these my goals or others goals I have taken as my own? I hope to at the end of this semester understand myself, past experiences (both good and bad), goals, skills, loves, etc. I hope to grow in a positive way.

3. What fascinated me as a child?

As a child I was fascinated with hearing, creating, acting and imagining stories. I loved being outside and seeing majestic scenes (such as a thick forest with animals and streams in the morning). I was attracted to animals, all kinds, and bugs (especially the bright green sorts). I was attracted to sports, especially swimming, running and baseball. I loved singing and dancing to music, others music and my own. I enjoyed being creative with art projects. I was fascinated with adventures of all sorts, especially seeing and experiencing new things (such as seeing buffalo for the first time).

-What sense did you live most for?

As I look back, I seem to remember the importance of sight in my life and the importance of smell (I can still remember the smell of my mothers flowery lotion).

-What did you love to do or dream about? What are some dreams that you never told to anyone?

I loved to imagine myself singing for a huge group of people on a stage. I also remember dreaming about rescuing all the animals in the world that didn’t have food, love and shelter. I would dream of taking all those animals and putting them on an island where they could live in harmony and be taken care of by me. I also loved to act out famous stories or make up my own, such as acting out an explorer on an adventure in my back yard.

-Is there a part of me that still loves those things?

Yes, although some of my main dreams have changed I still love animals, being creative, being adventurous and performing for others.

-What talents may those early abilities lead to?

These talents may point to what we would label a veterinarian, humanitarian, writer, artist, singer, creator of sorts, traveler, actor and performer. I find this a hard question, how do I sum up my early talents into an occupation or unified position?